Mentor (noun): an experienced and trusted adviser. Synonyms: coach, guide, helper, counselor, consultant.
Consider these questions:
What is important, meaningful to you now? What do you want to learn … change … improve … accomplish. How would you like to feel? What ignites your passion? What triggers your happiness and joy?
Make a list of your strengths and competencies. Review regularly. Edit and revise as you see fit.
Make a list of well-thought-out outcomes you most desire. Review regularly. Edit and revise as you see fit.
Know your B.S. (Belief System). Do you have a FIXED mindset … or a GROWTH mindset?
Focus on things that you CAN control or manage — choices, attitudes, actions, behaviors, mood, responses.
Take responsibility and accountability for “co-creating” or “shaping” the future you most desire.
Make a list of your own core values/virtues — or TARGET values/virtues. For example: loyalty, dependability, balance, compassion, kindness, generosity, passion, humility, bravery, professionalism, gratitude, flow, love, faith, patience, humor, ambition, optimism, confidence, fitness, wellbeing.
Then, review/reinforce regularly. Research and learn more about ways to demonstrate and embody them.
Compose appropriate “focus phrases” (sayings — proverbs — mottos — affirmations) Use them as reminders, positive triggers, inspirations, “alignments.”
Write, record, display the reminders and reinforcement that is appropriate to the outcomes you seek.
Make a “To-Feel List” — list of “target” or “most desired” feelings or emotional states. Review regularly. For example: happy, joyful, proud, enthusiastic, confident, grateful, compassionate, smart, lucky, appreciative, creative, energetic, inspired, calm, hopeful, positive, serene, helpful, loved, loving, valued, euphoric, strong …
Three other very helpful lists: • To-Do List – “Today’s Mission” • Inspiration List • Gratitude Journal
Gather intelligence, take notes. Flipboard. Google Search. Networking. Books. Magazines. TED Talks.
A KEY QUESTION: “What do I want to do, that I WILL do, to increase the likelihood of the outcomes I desire?”
Your goals should be appropriate, realistic, practical … they need to make sense.
To achieve specific goals: Break them down into small, workable steps. “What will I do TODAY?”
And … schedule those tasks and activities on your calendar! Give yourself honest feedback.
“PRACTICE MAKES HABITS” – to create a new habit or ritual, link it to an existing one.
• “What would I advise my dearest friend with the same goals, or challenges that I’m facing?”
• If a highly motivated person was seeking advice and guidance from you, in areas of interest to you … What would you tell them? How would you help them? Would you follow your own best advice?
Be honest with yourself. Be good to yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be self-compassionate.
©2016 Jerry D. Posner
Ways to Make 2015, Your Best Year! – Lecture Notes
We start with who we are, where we are, what we have to work with … NOW!
Attitude, perspective, point-of-view might be just as important as the “things
What might be some elements of ‘your best year?’
What is important, meaningful to you now?
What would you like to change … improve … accomplish?
How would you like to feel?
What ignites your passion?
What triggers your happiness and joy?
Focus on the things that you CAN control or manage. Choices, attitudes, actions, behaviors, etc.
Seek the appropriate balance between PLEASURE and PURPOSE.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to
choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” — Dr. Viktor Frankl
So … MIND THE GAP!
Emotions are contagious!
You can catch them, and others can catch them from you!
So, it pays to manage emotions, to know what you’re feeling and your emotional targets.
Make a “To-Feel List” — List of feelings or emotional states you want more often. Review regularly.
For example: happy, joyful, proud, enthusiastic, confident, grateful,
compassionate, smart, lucky, appreciative, creative, energetic, professional,
calm, hopeful, positive, serene, helpful, loved, valued.
Three other very helpful lists:
• To-Do List (of course!) – Today’s Mission
• Gratitude Journal
• Inspiration List
Choose a few key words/short phrases – THEMES – to influence attitude, mood, behavior, choices.
Some examples: Listen. Love more. Compassion. Kindness. Calm. Gratitude.
Grace. Faith. Flow. Patience. Acceptance. Balance. Forgiveness. Resilience. Rational.
Honesty. Mindfulness. Ambition. Courage. Laugh more. Eat healthy. Optimism. Serenity. Exercise. Meditate. Peace. Walk, don’t jump, to conclusions. Confidence. Joy. Service.
To achieve specific goals: Break them down into small, workable steps.
“What will I do TODAY?”
“PRACTICE MAKES HABITS” – to create a new habit, link it to an existing one.
These “R’s” could help!
Recognize (what you need to do, think, feel. Having a practical plan is smart)
Remember (write down the goal and your action plan. Read it daily)
Reinforce (with action … practice … repetition … reward yourself)
Review (observe results and feedback … modify your plan as needed or desired)
Repeat (the stuff that works best for you)
“Do something. If it works, do more of it. If it doesn’t, do something else.”
— Franklin D. Roosevelt
15 For 2015
Daily Reminders for a Stellar Year
By Jerry Posner
1. Sometimes a single act of kindness changes everything.
2. Appreciate and treasure each moment … especially this one.
3. Need courage? Recall inspirational people and their deeds.
4. Preparation reduces fear and shrinks worry.
5. Angry? Count to twenty, slowly. Still angry? Do it again.
6. Expect miracles.
(If that doesn’t work, notice the ones that already exist.)
7. Gratitude: feel it, express it, promote it. Be a grati-tutor!
8. More facts = better beliefs.
9. Message from your Future-Self: love more, kvetch less.
10. If it’s too difficult to forgive and forget, just choose one.
11. Put on your (rational) thinking cap … and leave it on.
12. Courtesy is fundamental, indifference is the enemy.
13. Choose your attitude; many fine options available now.
14. Positive expectations just might skew the odds in your favor.
15. What we do, and how we do it, always matters.
“Since there’s always a choice … choose wisely!”
14 For 2014 — Daily Reminders for a Stellar Year
By Jerry Posner
1. Consider the possibility that nothing is insignificant.
2. A little thanks and appreciation can go a long, long way.
3. Teach people how to love … by example.
4. Count your blessings and write ’em down, a few every day.
5. Do something today that your future-self will thank you for.
6. Know your biases. Dump the crappy ones!
7. Allow for unplanned miracles.
8. Tell at least one person a day, “I love you and I’m glad you’re here.”
9. Good deeds make magic.
10. The best apologies contain no excuses.
11. We owe our existence to the kindness of strangers … and parents.
12. Taking things for granted is the opposite of gratitude — so don’t!
13. Where am I now? Where am I headed? Is a course-correction necessary?
14. Do what makes you feel proud.
And here’s a link to the card:
13 For 2013 — Daily Reminders for a Stellar Year
By Jerry Posner
1. Walk, don’t jump to conclusions.
2. Feeling stressed? Take a “gratitude break.”
3. “Mind the gap” – increase awareness of the space between stimulus and response – and CHOOSE your responses.
4. Banish old negative, stupid biases. Nurture groovy ones!
5. Generate positive, constructive self-fulfilling prophesies.
6. Avoid assumptions – ask good questions … listen carefully.
7. Be thankful for the millions and millions of people who do their jobs so we can do ours.
8. Great to count blessings, even better to write them down.
9. Brightening someone’s day will brighten yours as well.
10. Practice doesn’t make perfect … practice makes habits.
11. Demonstrate and feel love instead of just talking about it.
12. Plant seeds every day. Keep planting. They will eventually sprout. Water them with intention and attention.
13. Skate to where the puck is going, not where it’s at. (Gretzky)
“Since there’s always a choice … choose wisely!”
12 For 2012 – Daily Reminders for a Stellar Year
by Jerry Posner
1. Keep goals right up front. Review daily.
2. Appreciation, forgiveness, compassion: excellent options.
3. Aim for no regrets.
4. Increase awareness of stress triggers and disconnect ’em.
5. Inspire yourself … inspire others.
6. Inspire others … inspire yourself.
7. Simple acts of kindness – superb cost/benefit ratio.
8. Keep a “to-do” list and a “not-to-do” list.
9. Great daily choices create great habits, that’s what we want.
10. Increase emotional intelligence. Make a list of feelings you’d like to experience more frequently. Put your attention on your list once a day. Edit and revise as you see fit.
11. Express more love than in previous years.
12. Take a daily gratitude break.
13. Give your customer an unexpected little something extra!
Click on the link below to download the card.