Be Your Own Mentor – Lecture Notes

Mentor (noun): an experienced and trusted adviser. Synonyms: coach, guide, helper, counselor, consultant.

Consider these questions:
What is important, meaningful to you now? What do you want to learn … change … improve … accomplish.  How would you like to feel? What ignites your passion? What triggers your happiness and joy?

Make a list of your strengths and competencies. Review regularly. Edit and revise as you see fit.
Make a list of well-thought-out outcomes you most desire. Review regularly. Edit and revise as you see fit.

Know your B.S. (Belief System). Do you have a FIXED mindset … or a GROWTH mindset?

Focus on things that you CAN control or manage — choices, attitudes, actions, behaviors, mood, responses.

Take responsibility and accountability for “co-creating” or “shaping” the future you most desire.

Make a list of your own core values/virtues — or TARGET values/virtues. For example: loyalty, dependability, balance, compassion, kindness, generosity, passion, humility, bravery, professionalism, gratitude, flow, love, faith, patience, humor, ambition, optimism, confidence, fitness, wellbeing.

Then, review/reinforce regularly. Research and learn more about ways to demonstrate and embody them.

Compose appropriate “focus phrases” (sayings — proverbs — mottos — affirmations)  Use them as reminders, positive triggers, inspirations, “alignments.”

Write, record, display the reminders and reinforcement that is appropriate to the outcomes you seek.

Make a “To-Feel List” — list of “target” or “most desired” feelings or emotional states. Review regularly.  For example: happy, joyful, proud, enthusiastic, confident, grateful, compassionate, smart, lucky, appreciative, creative, energetic, inspired, calm, hopeful, positive, serene, helpful, loved, loving, valued, euphoric, strong …

Three other very helpful lists: • To-Do List – “Today’s Mission” • Inspiration List • Gratitude Journal

Gather intelligence, take notes. Flipboard. Google Search. Networking. Books. Magazines. TED Talks.

A KEY QUESTION: “What do I want to do, that I WILL do, to increase the likelihood of the outcomes I desire?”

Your goals should be appropriate, realistic, practical … they need to make sense.

To achieve specific goals: Break them down into small, workable steps. “What will I do TODAY?”

And … schedule those tasks and activities on your calendar! Give yourself honest feedback.

“PRACTICE MAKES HABITS” – to create a new habit or ritual, link it to an existing one.

• “What would I advise my dearest friend with the same goals, or challenges that I’m facing?”

• If a highly motivated person was seeking advice and guidance from you, in areas of interest to you … What would you tell them? How would you help them? Would you follow your own best advice?

Be honest with yourself. Be good to yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be self-compassionate.

©2016 Jerry D. Posner

Grati-Tuesday Missives: August – October 2015

Grati-Tuesday Missives: August – October 2015

8/4/15 Grati-Tuesday! The bummers don’t have to trump the blessings. Perspective and attitude shape our story. Keep gratitude prominently in the mix! And compassion.

8/11/15 Celebrate Grati-Tuesday! Start your day with gratitude, thankfulness, appreciation. Feel it, express it, share it!

8/18/15 Grati-Tuesday! On easy days, average days and hard days; take some time to express gratitude for the things that DO work, and the privileges that you DO have. A little gratitude can change the picture … especially so, on the harder days.

8/25/15 Grati-Tuesday! “We must find time to stop and thank the people who make a difference in our lives.” — John F. Kennedy. (This is an ongoing project!)

9/1/15 Grati-Tuesday Haiku.
Exude gratitude:
brighten mood, not platitude,
benefits accrued.

9/7/15 (Labor Day) Gratitude to the people who do their jobs, so we can have the quality of life that we’re privileged to enjoy. If we made a list of them, we’d be writing all day.

9/8/15 Grati-Tuesday! A Gratitude Meditation: Breathe deeply, and appreciate where you are, what you are, and what you have. Repeat often.

9/15/15 Grati-Tuesday Greetings! “A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all the other virtues.” – Cicero. Spend some time with gratitude today.

9/22/15 Grati-Tuesday! “Remembering to be grateful is a form of emotional intelligence” (neuroscience researcher Alex Korb). Be smart … feel grateful!

9/29/15 Grati-Tuesday! “Silent gratitude isn’t very much to anyone.” –Gertrude Stein. So, express it … tell it … show it!

10/6/15 Grati-Tuesday! Three things to feel gratitude for (in random order): 1. You can breathe. 2. You have Internet access. 3. You are loved.

10/13/15 Grati-Tuesday! Add some gratitude to your day! “Gratitude is the sign of noble souls.” – Aesop.

10/20/15 Grati-Tuesday! “Give gratitude equal time, in your mind!”

10/27/15 Grati-Tuesday! Right where you are now, take a minute and slowly look around. Do you notice anything at all that you could feel grateful for? Thought so!